There is no way to describe my feelings, the emptyness I feel inside, this lonlyness. There ain't a damn person who really cares about me, loves me or is actually related to me and thereby cares.. And i ain't a bad person, pherhaps a little odd, but I do my best to be kind and usually this makes people take me for granted.
I'm just born into the world this way, with no connections, no strings attached, no family, no steady ground, no real home, no actually parents...
But I won't pity myself...it's just that when times get hard like now I feel so insecure and have nowhere to turn, no ones there to comfort me or to help me make desicions..
Tomorrow I'm going back home and I'm glad but also scared. I have no idea of what awaits me. The happy part of me to go home looks forward to sleep in my own bed, see my dog, feel at home and I guess also loved but the other part won't let me be too happy in case things go wrong.. No one knows how tomorrow looks and it's not just because I have no idea of what he will feel and how he will act, if he's actually changed into better or whatever. No, the thing is that I don't even know how I will react...I do have my theory and kind of a plan, but things and emotions can change once I get there.